The Phast Lapp Category


Posted On September 1, 2006By Coach PhelanIn The Phast Lapp

Buddy, Can You Spare a Steroid?

Local Drug Testing A stir at local running races was created with last month’s Phast Times News  mention of a group planning a possible boycott. The group would like to see drug testing become a normal part of racing as running on certified courses. “I feel that if athletes go unchecked, unchallenged, it will become an epidemic in no time,” said one of the anonymous runners arguing for drug testing. “I have two kids beginning cross country and I feel compelled to fight for an equal starting line for themRead More

Posted On September 1, 2006By Coach PhelanIn The Phast Lapp

The Hurt Run

I had gone to the RiverCities Triathlon that year with GINGER TURNER and CHRIS GUNDERSON. But I was scheduled to do a long run. Chris and Ginger were also supposed to do a long run in preparation for the upcoming Canadian Ironman Triathlon. So we did what we were “supposed” to do after we did what we wanted to do. (Can’t you just hear Chuck Hobbs going off on us?) Granted, this was years ago when we were all much younger and the grey hairs of wisdom hadn’t taken rootRead More

Posted On July 15, 2006By Coach PhelanIn The Phast Lapp

Bike Ban: Anna Doesn’t Bike Here, Anymore

Believe it. It really happened. On June 13 at 7 pm, THE PHAST TIMES NEWS attended the Anna City Council meeting to “discuss” the idea of banning bicycles from Anna. However, there was no discussing. While one city council lady dosed off, apparently too bored to care, approximately 60 people from the immediate area (after word spread, people throughout Texas were willing to be bussed in) attended a meeting that had to be moved because of the anticipated interest in one of the agenda items. The local newspaper reported thatRead More

Posted On July 1, 2006By Coach PhelanIn The Phast Lapp

Zeus Fell to Earth

JIM CORMIER and I grew up together in Fitchburg, MA. I met him in the school yard when I was 12 putting together a neighborhood ice hockey team to answer the challenge of a rival neighborhood. Jim had charisma, looks, and talent. He was one of our better skaters and goal scorers. But Jim was not a scrapper; it didn’t fit his personality. I had met his dad, Bunny, when I was five. He was the “Mail Man.” Bunny was great with kids, always telling jokes, and doing little magicRead More

Posted On May 1, 2006By Coach PhelanIn The Phast Lapp


I am an addict. I have an addiction. The name of my addiction is officially known as Lowsykiker, but also goes by commons names such as sincorswim, finsarbetter, fin-als, and fin-alization. I am attending meetings on Tuesday evenings for my problem. There are several groups, including FAKE (Fins: Alternative Kicking Equalized), FOE (Fins On Everyone), FAST (Fins of America Swimming Together), and Fin SPEW (Fins, Swimming, and Pulling: Equalized in the Water). My addiction stems from being a runner with stiff ankles; they do not flex like the better swimmers.Read More

Posted On March 1, 2006By Coach PhelanIn The Phast Lapp

Working Out

I can already tell. It’s 6:30 in the morning and I can already feel it. I’m more introverted and will probably be moody today. Janalou calls me “quiet” when I’m like this. You see, the first water I hit today was in the shower, not the 25-meter pool. My first reach was for the soap instead of the suggestion of a DAM (Dallas Aquatic Masters) coach to lengthen my stroke. I skipped my workouts this morning. Oh, the alarm went off just fine. And so did my wife’s alarm. InRead More

Posted On February 15, 2006By Coach PhelanIn The Phast Lapp

Stay active. Set an er,…um…PR.

The problem with big sports on TV is it requires spectators. Growing up trying to watch big time TV sports with my other male role models, I usually became frustrated. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be, or shouldn’t be out there playing the sport, or at the very least outside playing the sport we (family members/friends) were watching. “Why are we watching this instead of doing this sport? Why are we not playing?” I wanted to be in the picture, not looking at the picture. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately),Read More

Posted On February 1, 2006By Coach PhelanIn The Phast Lapp

Older Athletes Job Description

OK, this might be for another world and time, other than our own. But, it’s my fantasy and I think it should be the goal, the ideal of our community. If you believe, you have to speak because you have something to say. I have become what can be honestly described as…(gasp) an older athlete. I’m not sure when it happened. But, one day I got in the car, turned on the radio, and out came crap! I used to like the music, immensely. But one day, it all changed.Read More

Posted On January 1, 2006By Coach PhelanIn The Phast Lapp

Just Thinking

OK, so I’ve been daydreaming. Sometimes when staring at the bottom of the pool during a long set, during a 50 mile bike ride solo, or during a lonely loop of White Rock Lake, my mind wanders. Sometimes it wanders off into the inane. Then next thing I noticed was I had a collection of weirdness. Nevertheless, I can’t be the only person to think of these things. Or can I?… Why is it that taking your goggles off after a hard or warm swim, gives one the perception ofRead More